I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
