He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize