they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
ok first of all what the fuck
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
