yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
