I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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