Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
