You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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