My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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