EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
