Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I need water and some morals
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize