Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
