I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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