I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
