you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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