you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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