ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
