I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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