After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
and she was petting her beer can
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
