so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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