I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
the liver wants what the liver wants
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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