ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
