none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
