angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
