Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
whose parrot is this?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
