ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
