she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My life is pants optional.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
