if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
