i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
