i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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