So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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