This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
