hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
