I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
