You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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