and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i dont even know how to be here
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
