Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
