Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
