She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
