Pants 0. Shit 1.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
