I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize