Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
