I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
