i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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