My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
