i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize