I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Rumble strips road head = magical
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
