Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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