We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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