did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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