So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You did what with his pubic hair?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
