singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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