i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
