Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
