Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
