Where are you?
In a non slutty way
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
