I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
