Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize