he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
