i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
