fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
