Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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