There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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