i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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