Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
