I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
my poor anus
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
