my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
