he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't deserve a penis
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
