Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
