I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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