is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
