someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Can Purell be used as lube?
it's great music for shaving your balls
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
