And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
