This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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