It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
